First World War Problems

the-seed-of-europe:

German soldiers beside a small swimming pool.

footysphere:

World War I Football Propaganda

Three postcards using football as a WWI propaganda device - looks like those dastardly Germans are getting a jolly good thrashing from the Allies.

Red, White & Khaki: The Story of the Only Wartime FA Cup Final (amazon)

The Allies, where we play football with the severed heads of our enemies. 

(via kaiserbund)

kaiserbund:

fyeahhistorymajorheraldicbeast:

Gavrilo Princip

(via eurohist)

the-seed-of-europe:

Easter postcard depicting a German infantryman and an Austro-Hungarian soldier.

…Hunting for Easter eggs in the trenches must have been wicked fun.

Hans, if you put on that bunny costume [we all know it’s just four rat hides pasted together] and hide in the next bunker one more time, I will hide an Osterei in your ass. And by Osterei I mean a British grenade.

(via tzarinascupotea)

(Source: lord-kitschener)

balalaikaboss:

lord-kitschener:

mumblingsage:

If you’re having First World War problems, it’s probably Lord-Kitschener’s fault.

*Evil laugh*

It’s 1917, August twenty one
In the next shell hole is the motherfucking Hun
I got two choices y’all get over the top or

get back to base, call an artillery drop

Now I ain’t trying to see no Victoria Cross
But I ply my trench knife like a motherfucking boss
So I jump outta the side of the hole
And I heard “Hände hoch! Vy are you here alone?”
“Cause I’m young and the brass gave the cable for the phone
Do I look like a mind reader, Fritz, I don’t know!

Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?”
“One, my name is Hans and two, sat vas uncalled for!
Give me your name and your unit and I’ll let the Red Cross know
Is your weapon even loaded? I know supplies are very low”
Now no bloody fucking Hun talks to T. Atkins like that
You can shove your pointy helmet up your feldgrau ass
So I sucker punched that sod and kicked old Hans in the balls
And keep running ‘til I trip on the wire and fall
into our lines, and my main man says “What the fuck?
Why you gotta be having so much goddamn luck?
Back in the dugout, my mates pass me a beer

I’m the king of the hill, no regrets, no fear

And from the other trench Hans yells at me some
“We’ll see how smart you are when the Sturmtruppe come!”

I got 99 problems but a Boche ain’t one.

*takes a bow*

balalaikaboss:

ausschreitungen:

A despatch dog brings food to two German soldiers in an advanced trench, somewhere on the Western Front. The dog is wearing a special harness on its back which can hold mess tins. In the background, a third soldier can be seen pointing his rifle over the top of the trench.

“It’s from the sector that just heated up…’Confident that we will hold this position. Need hot rations, grenades. Rest assured that we will never give you up, never let you down’, never…run around?…and…OH MY GOD. SUCK A GREAT BIG BAG OF DICKS, HANS.”

lord-kitschener:

lostsplendor:

Over the Top, Scherenfernrohr c. WW1 (by drakegoodman)

bitchitoldyouigottaste:

the-seed-of-europe:

“The perfect sector! Too bad it can’t be found on the front.”

“unless buttsex in trenches is your thing”

First World War Problems is an open and affirming blog. 

Actually it’s a bit…well, more than open and affirming. Shut up! We can’t help shipping everyone else in our company. 

the-seed-of-europe:

“Armistice” - romantic kitsch postcard.

Veronique always liked it when Jean-Baptiste kept his service cap on in bed. For some reason she liked it even better when he wore the pickelhaube he’d taken as a war trophy. 

(via letthemhavepie)

Look, this is not from the chronological First World War but you CANNOT deny that he’s probably the biggest First World War Problem.

Also, this is a pickelhaube gif. Your argument is invalid. 

balalaikaboss:

fyeahhistorymajorheraldicbeast:

Never let your hand wander unattended into Austria-Hungary because it does not know how to behave and people die. 

http://1850-1930.tumblr.com/

Dude. Fuck the entire fucking Austro-Hungarian empire. Everyone blames Germany for the war and Austria is just sitting in the back going “TROLOLOLOLO” except not because they SUCK at EVERYTHING. 

done Austroraging. Sorry. 

balalaikaboss:

instahlgewittern:

French soldiers camouflaging a 370 mm railway gun.

Worst. Camouflage. Ever. 

“Jurgen, I think the armored train that the artillery sighters told us about is right there on the left.”

“No, Albrecht, it is a tree on the railroad.”

“A tree?”

“A tree.”

“A century-old tree growing diagonally up from the railroad with a sheet over it?”

“Maybe it is a cold tree!”